The IntimaterRider is a product line designed to enhance sexual mobility and improve personal relationships for those with an assortment of physical challenges.  The IntimateRider is the only product on the market designed to enhance sexual mobility for those with limited or no lower body muscle control.  An average order from our website is almost $500.00 and with a generous 10% commission per sale, the potential is huge!

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IntimateRider designer, Alan Tholkes

The idea was a gliding chair with adjustable legs and back support, but it would not be something you’d take to a softball game.

The IntimateRider (www. intimaterider.com), now being launched nationally and retailing for just under $500, is a sex aid for the physically disabled. That includes Tholkes, who became a quadriplegic at age 17 as the result of a car crash. The chair, he said, is especially helpful for people with spinal cord injuries, arthritis, chronic back pain and other debilitating ailments, offering support and ease of motion that allows many couples to enjoy sex again.

While inventor Tholkes, Minnesota’s 1991 Entrepreneur of the Year, jokes that the “R&D (research and development) was a lot of fun,” the chair, and the reason behind its development, is serious business. While tantalizing sexual messages rain down on the able-bodied, those with disabilities hear something quite different from advertisers, culture and, too often, their doctors:

Silence.

“When I went through (post-accident) rehab in the 1970s at age 18, it was one of those things that got shuffled under the rug,” Tholkes said. “They taught me how to feed, dress and take care of myself, but nobody brought up the subject of how I was going to have sex, which was at the top of my list.”

As many as 11,000 Americans suffer spinal cord injuries every year, he points out, and more than 80 percent of them are males between ages 16 and 30. “You’re young, aggressive, invincible,” said Tholkes, 49, who maintains good arm function that allows him to move himself in and out of his manual wheelchair. “At that age, sex is still a predominant topic on your mind.”

While many men and women with spinal cord injuries regain all or some form of their sexual capabilities, depending on the degree of injury and its location, “society looks at someone in a wheelchair,” Tholkes said, “and assumes you’re not in that group anymore.”

‘I don’t want to be alone’

It’s not only people in wheelchairs who face this reality. The Web site of the Arthritis Foundation (www. arthritis.org) offers a “Guide to Intimacy With Arthritis,” that demonstrates a hunger for answers among a population whose sexual desires clearly haven’t waned, despite often agonizing physical or emotional challenges. Among their questions:

• “Because of my gnarled, knobby joints, I’m embarrassed by my body. I worry no one would want me sexually because of how I look. I don’t want to be alone!”

• “How could I possibly believe that my guy won’t sexually stray when an able-bodied woman would always have more to offer him physically?”

• “It has been so long since my wife and I have made love comfortably that I hardly know how to get started. Any suggestions?”

• “How will joint replacement affect my ability to have sex?”

Chris Kost, 37, of Shakopee, has heard these concerns and more, as a personal trainer for Accua Advanced Fitness Training in Savage and as a man who has lived with osteoarthritis for 16 years. Married to Erin Kost and the father of a 17-month-old son, he keeps physically fit, but can’t deny that some days are marked by aches and pain that are unusual for a young man. A longtime volunteer for the Arthritis Foundation’s north-central chapter, which includes Minnesota, he also speaks to young people anxious about intimacy issues and particularly worried whether able-bodied people will find them desirable.

Eight years ago, he delivered a candid talk to participants at the American Juvenile Arthritis Foundation’s convention in Washington, D.C.

“A lot of people are just worried about being able to live normal lifestyles,” he said. “They see media-made intimacy. Honestly, that’s not the way it is. I told them, ‘You’re not going to be in a porn movie with cameras all around you. It’s you and your significant other.’”

The best tool for good sex, he told them, is communication.

“Let your partner know what’s comfortable and what’s not, what hurts and what doesn’t hurt. You have to make a mental map of your and your partner’s bodies, to find out what you like and don’t like.

“People think with sexuality that it’s all about intercourse, but it’s not. Simple touch for someone can be very intimate.”

Doctors often fail to ask

Doctors often fail to ask about sex. Mitchell Tepper would second that. The assistant director of the Center of Excellence for Sexual Health at the Morehouse School of Medicine in Atlanta is a national spokesman on sexuality and Disability. Through his Web site, sexual health.com, Tepper, who suffered a spinal cord injury 25 years ago, works to debunk the cultural myths that people with physical disabilities are either “childlike or asexual.”

Tepper hears regularly from people with any number of physical challenges – a woman with spina bifida who hopes to become pregnant, a man with emphysema seeking positions that won’t cause him to run out of breath – and some of the topics on sexualhealth.com sound a bit like what you’d find on other Web sites: “Tantric sex – a different perspective,” “Sex toys and where to purchase them,” and “Love bites smorgasbord.”

And why not? A healthy sex life can work wonders for everyone, he said, providing comfort, closeness, relationship satisfaction, even emotional healing.

The IntimateRider’s creator notes that his product, which was developed in about six months, also can be enjoyed by people with no physical challenges. While the early stages of inception were “really awkward,” the more word got out, especially to people with arthritis and back pain, the more support he got.

“The people I know and have talked to, they’re just so excited about it. They tell me, ‘It’s about time somebody came up with a way to make this a little easier.’ They can do things they couldn’t do before and have a little fun in the process.”

Tholkes and his wife, Monaliza, are expecting their first child in September. The inventor will not say whether the IntimateRider had anything to do with that.

Trade secret.

Respondents to the Better Sleep Council’s 2007 Better Sleep Month survey reported an alarming decline in quality of work, poor judgment and trouble retaining information as the top work-related consequences from lack of sleep. In fact, 44 percent said they were likely to be in an unpleasant or unfriendly mood – all bad news for employers, employees and customers.

WELL SAID

“There are anatomical differences between the male brain and the female brain that cause the two genders to react differently in many situations, including seeking help. The differences, which are in the fight-and-flight part of the brain, have nothing to do with intelligence but everything to do with the way we function in our Environment.”

- Dr. Malcolm Stewart, a neurologist at Presbyterian Hospital of Dallas Dr. Malcolm Stewart

neurologist at Presbyterian Hospital of Dallas

A NEW YOU

People with disabilities don’t necessarily stop feeling sexual. But acting upon those desires can be a challenge.

Women are finding comfortable support for many new and familar positions while using the Ridermate Deluxe wedge system.  The soft fabric adds a sensual feeling to your skin while the firm support of the wedge base allows you to focus on your partners movements during your sexual escapades.

Elegant, modern furniture sculpted from foam and encased in lush microfiber, are conceived in love and created for comfort.  Liberator Sex Furniture can set the scene for seduction while remaining discreet and not revealing its dual nature.  This modern foam furniture cradles your curves and will help recharge your sexual energy.

With the current focus on physical needs, access and daily living aids, it is easy to forget that living with an illness or disability can bring emotional challenges as well. When you acquire a disability, much of your life changes overnight and you may feel you are struggling to cope, but you are not alone.

Disability can impact on many areas of life: relationships, housing, finance, employment, health and social life. Humans generally do not cope very well with change but with disability, often these changes happen all at once, which can be overwhelming. It isn’t a sign of weakness if you feel you aren’t coping. It purely reflects the amount of changes you are working through.

Prioritising time and energy are major issues for people living with a disability. Time gets taken up with disability-related tasks and sorting out support from Social Services and other organisations. To get what you need you have to be your own advocate, communicate well and be assertive.

How you see yourself and your disability will impact on how you cope with these changes. Being assertive can be hard when you are feeling frustrated, low, anxious, have negative thoughts or low self-esteem.

What about sex?

This in turn can impact on intimate relationships. Feeling low or struggling with body image can make sex and intimacy difficult. There can also be changes in the roles you and your partner have and in ideas about masculinity and femininity. You may have to work through the loss of dreams and future expectations. If you are single, you have to think about how to contain your disability when you first meet someone so they can get to know the ‘you’ beyond the disability.

All of this is increased by the messages around us that we are a burden, not wanted, less productive than ablebodied people and should be grateful of any assistance we get.

We are all sexual beings, whether we have a disability, are in a relationship or are single. There are many myths and assumptions around sex and disability, for example that disabled people are asexual (not interested in sex) or are not capable of sex. We are all influenced by these myths and sometimes it’s easier to think that we don’t have a right to sex any more…but it just isn’t true!

There are things you can do to improve intimacy in your relationship. In fact, re-establishing intimacy and sex can provide comfort and security during this time of change and help to keep your relationship together.

If you’re single, sex with yourself is also important for your self-esteem.

How can we re-establish intimacy?

Here are some tips to help you reconnect with yourself and your partner:

• Tell yourself it’s OK to be where you are! It took you a while to learn to tie your shoelaces, to learn how to cook or drive and it will take time to learn how to have and enjoy sex again.

• Learn about your body and find out what feels good. Don’t be scared to explore areas of your body that perhaps in the past you neglected: there are many more erogenous zones in our bodies than our genitals, and don’t forget your mind and fantasies!

• Once you have a clearer picture, start exploring with your partner. Communication is key: when it comes to intimacy you may need to discuss any pain, fatigue or discomfort which could affect sex. Talk to your partner about what you think is going to work, thinking about your needs and theirs.

• Desire and self-esteem are part of the arousal process and if you are struggling with this, individual counselling may help to improve your self-esteem and body image. Once you feel more confident, couple counselling or sex therapy can also help to get your sex life back on track.

• Assessments by Occupational Therapists and Social Services around your Activities of Daily Living (ADLs) should include your sexual needs but often don’t. Many professionals are still reluctant to ask how your disability or illness has affected your sex life. This may be because they feel it isn’t in their job description, because they don’t know what to do with the information you may give them or because they feel this is an invasion of your privacy. However, sex IS an activity of daily living alongside eating, washing and dressing etc. If you feel you need emotional support, sexual aids or sexual advice, please ask your OT or Social Worker to include your sexual needs in your assessment or to refer you to an organisation who can assist you. It is also worth asking whether sexual aids or emotional support can be included in your Direct Payments or Individual Budget.

Intimate relationships are an important part of finding satisfaction and happiness in life, but finding or keeping a relationship can seem like a huge mountain to climb when you are not feeling great about yourself.

Support is out there from your peers and from professionals who have disability knowledge and experience. Most people find it beneficial to join a group of people with disabilities where they can learn from each other, or to talk to a professional who understands what living with illness and disability is like. There are counsellors, sex therapists and organisations that specialise in providing support for people with physical disabilities. There are some who specialise in sexual support for people with disabilities as well.

Though finding time to re-establish intimacy with yourself or your partner may seem like another to-do item zapping your time and energy, the benefits far outweigh the cost. It may strengthen your relationship, help you focus on the things you CAN do and improve your self-worth.

by Spokz People Disability Counselling

Each individual has their own way of finding what works best for them in their personal relationship. Advancements with products like the IntmateRider can enhance an already gratifying love life and will give couples a way to enjoy the best sex possible.

IntimateRider Sex Ability

• Discover many new comfortable positions that were not attainable before
• Enhanced sexual performance
• Natural motion and support provide hip movement desired for sexual function
• Use of optional RiderMate and Rider Cushions provide added comfort and support
• Find more gratifying freedom and pleasure

Contact us: For additional information: info@intimaterider.com or call the IntimateRider Hotline at 952-873-6136

Order Online at: www.intimaterider.com

Why should I become an IntimateRider dealer?

• The IntimateRider is a unique, high quality, fast growing product line.
• We offer outstanding support. We will be with you every step of the way.
• Incredible Marketing opportunity. Be the first in your market to take advantage.
• Profitable dealer discounts because your success is our success!
• Dropshipping available in the U.S. and Canada, no inventory to carry.

 How do I become an IntimateRider dealer?

1. Download the IntimateRider dealer application form.
2. Fill out the application form completely.
3. Return to IntimateRider via the e‐mail address or fax number listed on the form.
4. After a review of your application you will be contacted by an IntimateRider representative who can then answer any questions you may have.
5. Now you can start taking advantage of our deep dealer discounts!

Have you been using the same, tired old bag on the back of your wheelchair for years? Would you like to add a bit of style to your wheelchair? Take a look at RehaDesign Stash and Flash Wheelchair Bag. RehaDesign Stash and Flash Wheelchair Bag combines style with functionality.

The straps of the RehaDesign Stash and Flash Wheelchair Bag have been designed to fit wheelchairs from 14 to 18 inches wide without rubbing against the wheels as you roll, no adjustment necessary. This wheelchair bag can be used on wheelchairs with either push handles or without.

The Stash and Flash Wheelchair Bag is made of a water resistant material to protect your valuable posessions incase of a sudden rain storm. There are plenty of pockets on the Stash and Flash Wheelchair Bag, including zipped pockets for items you want to put away safely and netted pockets for quick and easy access. Each of the zipped pockets have finger loops so that Quads and others with limited hand mobility can open the zippers.

But safety and style have not been ingored. The Stash and Flash Wheelchair Bag has a built in reflective strip which is visible when a light, such as the headlight of a car, shines on it. For added safety and style consider an optional reflective design. Only with the Stash and Flash Wheelchair Bag can you get an optional tribal heart or tribal dragon added in order to add some bling to your wheelchair bag. Say goodbye to boring wheelchair bags and hello to the RehaDesign Stash and Flash Wheelchair Bag.

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Today’s guest blogger, Dr. Gene Emmer is the author of Wheelchair Pride  a blog about assistive technology for wheelchair users and Wheelchair  a website offering innovative wheelchair accessories for worldwide sale.

For a wheelchair user, wet weather can be a catastrophe. How do you keep yourself dry in the rain and how do you prevent tracking in mud and filth into your house or worse yet, into the house of a good friend or relative?

The people who created the RehaDesign Wheelchair Accessories, a European brand of wheelchair accessories, have come up with innovative answers to both problems.

The Brella Buddy Wheelchair Umbrella Holder allows a wheelchair user to wear their umbrella in the rain leaving the wheelchair user’s hands free to push the wheelchair. The Brella Buddy Wheelchair Umbrella Holder has a velcro system which holds the umbrella securely and a loop in the back to attach to the belt on a very windy day. The Brella Buddy Wheelchair Umbrella Holder also has handy pockets to store valuables or even a collapsible umbrella when not in use. Read more about the Brella Buddy Wheelchair Umbrella  Holder.

RehaDesign Wheelchair Tire Covers (also known as Wheelchair Slippers), go on over the wheelchair tires and prevent dirt and filth from transferring to the floors and carpets. With an artificial suede finish, RehaDesign Wheelchair Slippers are nice to the touch. These innovative wheelchair tire covers  are also machine washable and come in three attractive colors.

Check out these and other RehaDesign wheelchair accessories on the Wheelchair website. Although RehaDesign Wheelchair Accessories are shipped from Europe, payment is secure with Paypal and all prices include FREE worldwide shipping.

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Today’s guest blogger, Dr. Gene Emmer is the author of Wheelchair Pride  a blog about assistive technology for wheelchair users and Wheelchair  a website offering innovative wheelchair accessories for worldwide sale.

by Dr. Linda R. Mona

Discussing your disabilities on a date can be difficult: your new partner is probably curious about the extent of your sexual abilities. Can you have intercourse? What special needs do you have? What are your limits or particular talents?

The hardest part of this conversation can be deciding when to have it. How does one lead into the subject? Do you talk about disability at the onset of the first date, or wait until the second, third or fourth meeting?

People living with disabilities tend to worry about saying too much or not saying enough. Place these feelings of anxiety aside! Discussion about a person’s disability typically comes up naturally within conversation. For example, a conversation could begin around a modified van, a Seeing Eye dog, the use of sign language or a prosthetic device or mobility aide. When these subjects arise, respond honestly and openly to questions, and your prospective partner will understand you are comfortable discussing your disability.

Ironically, while you are worrying about how and when to bring up the limits imposed by your disability, your date is no doubt struggling with questions, afraid of offending you, but wanting information. For example, your date may wonder what arrangements need to be made to accommodate your disability during an evening out. Can you walk a few steps unaided, or do you require your wheelchair at all times? Are you comfortable with having a menu read to you, or would you prefer to dine only in restaurants that offer Braille menus?

If he or she is unfamiliar with dating a disabled person, as many people are the first time they do so, your date may simply blurt out, “What is your disability, and what do I need to do to arrange a date?” Although some individuals feel comfortable with this direct approach, others may not know how to respond to such a remark. Be compassionate, and try not to get offended. Remember, your date is simply trying to ensure you both enjoy yourselves.

It is important to remember that these questions also come up when two people with disabilities date each other. Contrary to popular belief, the disabled are not all alike—we do have questions about our friends and dating partners with different types of disabilities.

Given the uneasiness that can surface, here are some helpful hints for people with disabilities, as well as for their able-bodied and disabled dating partners.

• Discuss your disability, don’t lecture an audience.
  Treat a date like any other social situation. Talk about your disability as it naturally occurs in conversation. If you are asked directly about it, answer with details that are informative, but don’t launch into a 30-minute speech about your condition. If this date turns into a more serious relationship, you’ll find plenty of time to discuss the specifics of your disability.
• Talk from a script.
  If you feel ill at ease discussing your disability, think about what you may want to say ahead of time. Sometimes people practice with a friend how they plan to discuss their disability. If you prefer to practice alone, use a tape recorder or even a mirror to get an idea about how you come across and what words bolster your confidence.
• Plan your response to questions.
  If it makes you feel better, think about what you might say if you were asked directly about your disability. Some people have a standard response they always give to questions; for example, someone may say, “I am deaf and this is why my speech may seem different to you.” Some people may want to take this a step further and say, “I have 20% hearing ability in my right ear, so if you sit on my left side, I think we’ll have a more enjoyable conversation.” Think about what feels right to you, and go for it!
• Talk about your dating partner’s disability.
  Creating an environment open to discussion helps the person with the disability feel a sense of power over a potentially uncomfortable situation. Try something like, “I’m not sure if you feel comfortable answering this question, but I was wondering if you would mind discussing your disability?” This phrasing gives the person with a disability the choice of whether or not they’d choose to engage in these issues, and shows him or her you are comfortable discussing the matter.
• Refrain from asking overly personal questions on the first date.
  One often assumes that it is acceptable to ask people with disabilities very personal questions. For example, it is not uncommon for people to be asked, “How do you go to the bathroom?” “How do you shower?” or “Can you have sex?” While many of us think that it is not unreasonable to ask for such personal information, it is important to keep in mind that people with disabilities are entitled to the same amount of privacy as anyone else.

Whether dating another disabled person or an able-bodied person, talk to each other and find out what arrangements need to be made. By showing your partner you can communicate comfortably about the “sensitive” subject of your disability, you are opening the door for more intimate conversations, perhaps those surrounding your intimate preferences!

Dr. Linda R. Mona is a nationally recognized expert, and well-known advocate, for disability rights. She has authored numerous presentations and papers on the topic of sexuality and disability, in particular, and often runs workshops on this very important topic.  Dr Mona does not endorse the IntimateRider.

MYTH: Sex means sexual intercourse.

MYTH: Talking about sex isn’t natural, proper or necessary.

MYTH: Sex is for younger people.

MYTH: Men should initiate sexual activities,

MYTH: You shouldn’t start what you can’t finish.

MYTH:  Sex should be spontaneous.

MYTH: A firm penis is essential for satisfying sex.

MYTH: Good sex ends with orgasm.

The general attitude toward people in wheelchairs is that sexual activity is impossible. Nothing could be further from the truth. Because sex is never entirely genital, it can certainly be enjoyed by a person who is disabled or physically handicapped. In fact, 50% of people with spinal cord injuries report that they are able to have an orgasm. Many of them report areas of the body above the injury that become hypersensitive and when stimulated, result in sexual arousal and sometimes orgasm.

One common misconception following a spinal cord injury is that a single man or woman will never find a life partner, or that an existing partner will leave a relationship due to the complications of an injury. This is not the case. The divorce rate following spinal cord injury is only slightly higher than in other populations, and thousands of people have been married and begun families after a spinal cord injury

It is important to remember that the inability to move does not imply the inability to please your partner or to be pleased. The absence of sensation doesn’t mean that there is an absence of feeling. A disabled person still feels desire even though the genitals may no longer function. The ability to enjoy intimacy and closeness persists even though the ability to perform may not. Couples can still enjoy a loving, close, and intimate relationship although it may be different from the one shared prior to the disability.