Here are a couple myths about disabled sex.
1. Disabled sex is not sexy –
The media has done a real good job depicting what is sexy and what should not be sexy and the message of today’s media is that disabled sex is not sexy.  Behold, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and many couples will tell you that disabled sex can be very exciting when each partners understands what is sexy to his or her partner with the disability.  After all, the brain is the main sex organ in the human body when it comes to disabled sex.

2. People living with a disability have more important things to worry about than disabled sex -
Who says disabled sex is not important?  Many non-disabled people think that disabled sex is a luxury and that it should not be too high on the priority list for the disabled.  Fact is that disabled sex is just as much of a priority for the disabled as it is for the abled-bodied.

3. Disabled sex is not “real’ sex –  
Many people have an idea of how “real” sex is supposed to work and they have a hard time understanding how disabled sex can be the “real” deal.  The idea that one living with a disability is not capable of having “real” sex is no longer the case with the advent of products like the IntimateRider.  Disabled sex with the IntimateRider is just as good if not better that what some people would consider “real” sex.  The IntimateRider makes disabled sex “real” sex.

A new wheelchair glove design has been launched for active wheelchair users.  The new glove is especially designed for active wheelchair users who are quadriplegic or who have limited hand function.

This new leather wheelchair glove has several unique properties.  First, the back of the hand is open. This means that there is nothing to prevent the knuckles from bending. Second, the two grips on the palm of the glove are separated giving the glove a hinge like effect. This hinge has two benefits; it not only helps to place the grips ideally around the push rim and it also contributes to making the glove flexible. Finally, the glove is available with two types of closures so that wheelchair users can select the most convenient glove design for their type of disability. Read more about these  innovative  gloves for wheelchair users  which protect the hands and improve the grip on the wheelchair, while being both easy to put on and flex.  Worldwide delivery is included in the purchase price of the glove.

SCI sex just got better with the addition of this support strap.  This Positioning Support Strap alleviates some of the pressure from your back and will bring you even closer to your partner as you enjoy the IntimateRider. Simply wrap the strap around the hips of your partner as she waits for you on all fours.

Perfect for you and your partner when using the IntimateMate Adventure Set or Romance Set.  Quads now have a support handle that will increase momentum and performance while using the IntimateRider. Padded with a plush microfiber leopard or black print.

Pressure sores or pressure ulcers, are areas of damaged skin and tissue that develop when sustained pressure — usually from a bed or wheelchair — cuts off circulation to vulnerable parts of your body, especially the skin on your buttocks, hips and heels.

There are a number of ways to prevent pressure sores such as:

• Check your skin completely
• Uses cushions that meet your needs and provides adequate protection.  The Rider Cushion is custom built to fit perfectly on the IntimateRider and RiderMate.
• Move Often – Do weight shifts at least every 15-20 minutes.
• Protect your skin from harm.  IntimateRider Slip-Covers provide extra softness and help avoid skin abrasions.
• Take special caution when transferring from a wheelchair.

The seat fabric of the IntimateRider and RiderMate is made from denier nylon and acts as a sling to contour to the shape of your body while providing stability and comfort.  

The key is to maintain healthy skin to prevent pressure sores.  Be sure to consult with your physician about any questions or concerns you may have. 

*source – Spinal Cord Injury Information Network and IntimateRider.com

Now rehab specialists can offer their patients a solution to enhance sexual mobility and ultimately improve the overall quality of life for many couples in the form of the IntimateRider. This innovative product was designed by C 6-7 quadriplegic to better sexual positioning for those with physical limitations. “The reason I created the IntimateRiders is because it has been thirty years since my accident and I have not been able to do some of these positions for years. It has brought a new dimension to my personal relationships. I feel so liberated!”

To have a product that enhances physical movement for intimate relations is revolutionary onto itself. Most sexual enhancing products deal with a number of other issues but few deals with physical limitation. The IntimateRider not only will enhance sexual performance but also will enhance interpersonal relationships that can now grow and flourish both physically and emotionally.

The IntimateRider products have gained much attention from patients and professionals alike. Many groups have had a chance to discuss the benefits of this relationship enhancer at a number of conferences held through out North America. Rehabs from coast to coast now include the IntimateRider as a part of their sexuality program to enhance the personal well-being of many couples.

 He’s handsome, intelligent, honest and makes you laugh. He is disabled and in a wheel chair. Initially she may see the disability over the positive qualities and may find it difficult to relate or understand his world. Though, if two people genuinely care for one another and have a mature, sincere and mutual commitment, the challenge of a disability can be squarely faced. Just ask Sex Therapist Karen Brash McGreer.

Karen Brash and Greg McGreer met as colleagues; Greg has a Ph. D. in psychology and Karen is a MFT (Marriage and Family Therapist). Being the same age, Karen widowed, Greg coming out of a 30-year marriage and each with three children from the previous marriages, the two had a lot in common. “It was love at first sight,” Karen said.

After 15 years of marriage they continue to have a loving and sexually satisfying relationship. In part, because from the beginning they were clear about their intentions to keep their relationship sexually vibrant. Greg has MS, a disabling disease affecting the central nervous system. One of the most common limitations in MS is mobility because of nerve transmission and muscle weakness. Greg was walking when the couple met, although his conditioned worsened and he now relies on a wheel chair most of the time.

“Some say there are two groups of people, TABs (those who are Temporarily Able Bodied) and Crips (those who are already disabled),” Karen said. “Some people may not consider that if we live long enough, we will likely become disabled.” Greg’s MS was not a deal breaker for Karen since he already knew how to handle his disability.

Contrary to the belief an able-bodied woman in a relationship with a disabled man primarily becomes a caregiver; Karen said her main roles within her marriage are being a best friend, lover and co-parent. An RN by profession as well, she has a hard time not slipping into the role of a caregiver, whether Greg thinks he needs it or not. Though, she highly respects his level of independence.

Another common belief toward those with disabilities is that sex is a physical impossibility. Usually, this is not true. Sex may have unique circumstances where physical disability is present. They may have to exercise creativity to find good positions for lovemaking. Certain positions may be difficult or uncomfortable if a partner has limited mobility or flexibility. There are solutions to meet these challenges.

Equipment such as the IntimateRider increases motion, positioning and mobility while providing comfort. The natural gliding motion enhances sexual relations. It offers a method of support by enhancing balance, strength and coordination, making it easier for the couple to achieve intercourse.

Disability does not in any way lessen a person’s need for all the things the rest of us seek, including social interaction, romantic involvement and sexual fulfillment. Every person regardless of gender, age or disability is a sexual being and there is no one too disabled to share physical pleasure. Couples in sexually satisfying relationships are usually creative and willing to expand their repertoire. Flexibility is a key to resilience in all relationships. “Where there’s a will there’s a way,” says Karen. “Each couple can find a way to stay close and connected and can use a sense of humor and perseverance to figure out what works best for them.”

Learn more about intimacy solutions for couples with disabilities at www.intimaterider.com

Sexuality does not end when a person experiences the effects of a spinal cord injury. Issues of meeting potential partners, building self confidence and enhancing sexual function are an essential part of adjusting to life after an injury. Many physical and emotional changes take place during the rehabilitation process and the matter of being able to perform sexually usually becomes an issue of importance. Intimate Rider is here to help.

The IntimaterRider is a product line designed to enhance sexual mobility and improve personal relationships for those with an assortment of physical challenges.  The IntimateRider is the only product on the market designed to enhance sexual mobility for those with limited or no lower body muscle control.  An average order from our website is almost $500.00 and with a generous 10% commission per sale, the potential is huge!

Becoming an Affiliate of IntimateRider.com is ABSOLUTELY FREE and EASY!  You can become an Affiliate and start earning income today by simply placing one of our banners and/or text links on your Website, Facebook Page, Twitter Posts, MySpace Page, Email Blasts, Newsletters, etc..  For each person who clicks through to our website and purchases our services you will receive a 10% commission. For more information visit Shareasale.com or simply click on the link below.

Click here to join our Affiliate Program

IntimateRider designer, Alan Tholkes

The idea was a gliding chair with adjustable legs and back support, but it would not be something you’d take to a softball game.

The IntimateRider (www. intimaterider.com), now being launched nationally and retailing for just under $500, is a sex aid for the physically disabled. That includes Tholkes, who became a quadriplegic at age 17 as the result of a car crash. The chair, he said, is especially helpful for people with spinal cord injuries, arthritis, chronic back pain and other debilitating ailments, offering support and ease of motion that allows many couples to enjoy sex again.

While inventor Tholkes, Minnesota’s 1991 Entrepreneur of the Year, jokes that the “R&D (research and development) was a lot of fun,” the chair, and the reason behind its development, is serious business. While tantalizing sexual messages rain down on the able-bodied, those with disabilities hear something quite different from advertisers, culture and, too often, their doctors:

Silence.

“When I went through (post-accident) rehab in the 1970s at age 18, it was one of those things that got shuffled under the rug,” Tholkes said. “They taught me how to feed, dress and take care of myself, but nobody brought up the subject of how I was going to have sex, which was at the top of my list.”

As many as 11,000 Americans suffer spinal cord injuries every year, he points out, and more than 80 percent of them are males between ages 16 and 30. “You’re young, aggressive, invincible,” said Tholkes, 49, who maintains good arm function that allows him to move himself in and out of his manual wheelchair. “At that age, sex is still a predominant topic on your mind.”

While many men and women with spinal cord injuries regain all or some form of their sexual capabilities, depending on the degree of injury and its location, “society looks at someone in a wheelchair,” Tholkes said, “and assumes you’re not in that group anymore.”

‘I don’t want to be alone’

It’s not only people in wheelchairs who face this reality. The Web site of the Arthritis Foundation (www. arthritis.org) offers a “Guide to Intimacy With Arthritis,” that demonstrates a hunger for answers among a population whose sexual desires clearly haven’t waned, despite often agonizing physical or emotional challenges. Among their questions:

• “Because of my gnarled, knobby joints, I’m embarrassed by my body. I worry no one would want me sexually because of how I look. I don’t want to be alone!”

• “How could I possibly believe that my guy won’t sexually stray when an able-bodied woman would always have more to offer him physically?”

• “It has been so long since my wife and I have made love comfortably that I hardly know how to get started. Any suggestions?”

• “How will joint replacement affect my ability to have sex?”

Chris Kost, 37, of Shakopee, has heard these concerns and more, as a personal trainer for Accua Advanced Fitness Training in Savage and as a man who has lived with osteoarthritis for 16 years. Married to Erin Kost and the father of a 17-month-old son, he keeps physically fit, but can’t deny that some days are marked by aches and pain that are unusual for a young man. A longtime volunteer for the Arthritis Foundation’s north-central chapter, which includes Minnesota, he also speaks to young people anxious about intimacy issues and particularly worried whether able-bodied people will find them desirable.

Eight years ago, he delivered a candid talk to participants at the American Juvenile Arthritis Foundation’s convention in Washington, D.C.

“A lot of people are just worried about being able to live normal lifestyles,” he said. “They see media-made intimacy. Honestly, that’s not the way it is. I told them, ‘You’re not going to be in a porn movie with cameras all around you. It’s you and your significant other.’”

The best tool for good sex, he told them, is communication.

“Let your partner know what’s comfortable and what’s not, what hurts and what doesn’t hurt. You have to make a mental map of your and your partner’s bodies, to find out what you like and don’t like.

“People think with sexuality that it’s all about intercourse, but it’s not. Simple touch for someone can be very intimate.”

Doctors often fail to ask

Doctors often fail to ask about sex. Mitchell Tepper would second that. The assistant director of the Center of Excellence for Sexual Health at the Morehouse School of Medicine in Atlanta is a national spokesman on sexuality and Disability. Through his Web site, sexual health.com, Tepper, who suffered a spinal cord injury 25 years ago, works to debunk the cultural myths that people with physical disabilities are either “childlike or asexual.”

Tepper hears regularly from people with any number of physical challenges – a woman with spina bifida who hopes to become pregnant, a man with emphysema seeking positions that won’t cause him to run out of breath – and some of the topics on sexualhealth.com sound a bit like what you’d find on other Web sites: “Tantric sex – a different perspective,” “Sex toys and where to purchase them,” and “Love bites smorgasbord.”

And why not? A healthy sex life can work wonders for everyone, he said, providing comfort, closeness, relationship satisfaction, even emotional healing.

The IntimateRider’s creator notes that his product, which was developed in about six months, also can be enjoyed by people with no physical challenges. While the early stages of inception were “really awkward,” the more word got out, especially to people with arthritis and back pain, the more support he got.

“The people I know and have talked to, they’re just so excited about it. They tell me, ‘It’s about time somebody came up with a way to make this a little easier.’ They can do things they couldn’t do before and have a little fun in the process.”

Tholkes and his wife, Monaliza, are expecting their first child in September. The inventor will not say whether the IntimateRider had anything to do with that.

Trade secret.

Respondents to the Better Sleep Council’s 2007 Better Sleep Month survey reported an alarming decline in quality of work, poor judgment and trouble retaining information as the top work-related consequences from lack of sleep. In fact, 44 percent said they were likely to be in an unpleasant or unfriendly mood – all bad news for employers, employees and customers.

WELL SAID

“There are anatomical differences between the male brain and the female brain that cause the two genders to react differently in many situations, including seeking help. The differences, which are in the fight-and-flight part of the brain, have nothing to do with intelligence but everything to do with the way we function in our Environment.”

- Dr. Malcolm Stewart, a neurologist at Presbyterian Hospital of Dallas Dr. Malcolm Stewart

neurologist at Presbyterian Hospital of Dallas

A NEW YOU

People with disabilities don’t necessarily stop feeling sexual. But acting upon those desires can be a challenge.

Women are finding comfortable support for many new and familar positions while using the Ridermate Deluxe wedge system.  The soft fabric adds a sensual feeling to your skin while the firm support of the wedge base allows you to focus on your partners movements during your sexual escapades.

Elegant, modern furniture sculpted from foam and encased in lush microfiber, are conceived in love and created for comfort.  Liberator Sex Furniture can set the scene for seduction while remaining discreet and not revealing its dual nature.  This modern foam furniture cradles your curves and will help recharge your sexual energy.