By Rhonda Campbell
There’s no reason to run from sexual intimacy. Sexual expression is a normal part of being human. At the heart of rewarding sexual expression are healthy relationships. It’s this point that many people miss, especially when they examine the state of their sexual intimacy.
Sexual intimacy can signal improving health and relationships
You might be surprised to learn that healthy sexual intimacy has more than a physical component. Social and emotional connections and psychological bonds play key roles in a person’s ability to enjoy sexual intimacy.
Just ask someone who feels betrayed by her partner of two years because her partner sounds more excited talking about the lunch he enjoyed with his new assistant than he does when discussing an upcoming date that he’s having with her, the woman he’s been dating for two years. People who have felt a romantic partner drifting away from them know that sexual intimacy is deeper than physical touch.
If you can connect emotionally with a person, you could develop healthy sexual intimacy with that individual. In fact, a lasting and rewarding sexual relationship demands that you make a deep emotional connection with your partner.
Trust is a bigger factor in sexual intimacy than disability
Focus on building a connection that will endure even as you and your partner age, experience passion shifts, work challenging jobs and continue to explore the world. As you do this, the trust that you have in yourself and your partner will grow.
It’s this trust that can reduce your fears about your sexual performance. When you know that your partner truly loves you, you may understand that one of the best payoffs of sexual intimacy is the fact that, during physical sex, you could take a step toward a deeper relationship with the person you love.
As you stop running from sexual intimacy if you have a disability, consider that you are more than a physical being. Be open with your partner about the impact that disability has on your everyday life and on your sexual expression.
You’re going to have to talk with your partner
Talk with your partner about specific fears that you and she or he has about sex as it regards your disability. For example, you or your partner might be afraid to have sex because you think that sex will create physical pain or worsen the disability.
Dr. Richard Senelick shares in The Huffington Post that a disability can cause a couple to fear changes in their gender roles. You or your partner could also fear that you’ll fail each other sexually. You might think that you will engage in the physical act of sex but never reach an orgasm.
Another factor to face and overcome so you can stop running from sexual intimacy if you have a disability is the belief that older people don’t have or enjoy sex. The fact is that, just as people with physical and mental disabilities enjoy healthy sex, so too do seniors.
Open up and talk with your partner about your fears and concerns. Ask your partner questions. If you’ve worked to build a healthy emotional and psychological connection with your partner, you both should feel safe talking about sex. Doing so may bring you both out of hiding. It could also open you both up to deeper and deeper love.
Live Free of Disability Sex Myths
By Rhonda Campbell
You may not think of it this way, but sexual health is a key part of your overall health. This includes your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health. The American Health Sexual Association shares that sexual health is natural and about more sexual behavior.
Disability Sex Myth #1 – Disabled People Don’t Want To Have Sex
Sexuality and disability shares a similar conclusion, stating that sexuality is about more than just having sex. In fact, human express their sexuality in thoughts, fantasies, attitudes, perceptions and habits and practices. So, why do so many people wrestle with disability sex myths?
Why do so many people think that just because a person has a physical disability that they don’t desire to express themselves sexually? Of all the disability sex myths that may be the more common myth. That single disability sex myth can make it difficult for a person with a disability to be viewed as a healthy sex partner.
Disability Sex Myth #2 – Disabled People Need Lots of Help
Women with physical disabilities say that they are viewed with surprise when they become pregnant. When disabled women seek birth control or prenatal support, they may be treated as if they are a child instead of an adult. People may also go out of their way to offer the women unnecessary help.
They may rush to open a door, after a disabled woman has already shown that she can get in and out of doors on her own. Speaking more slowly and explaining documents down to smallest detail are other ways that people offer unnecessary help to disabled adults. The belief that disabled adults need lots of help can cause potential partners to think that being in a relationship with a disabled person would be too much work, both in and out of the bedroom.
Disability Sex Myth #3 – A Disabled Person Is Less Attractive or Highly Sexed
And it’s not just women who face these responses. Men with physical disabilities also deal with inaccurate perceptions, including disability sex myths. For example, some people view a disabled person as being less attractive. Other people think that people with physical disabilities are highly sexed and that they think about sex nearly all the time.
Disability Sex Myth #4 – Sex Education Isn’t Necessary
Because of disability sex myths, some educators and everyday people think that a disabled person doesn’t need sex education. This myth applies whether a person has a physical, mental or an emotional disability.
Disability Sex Myth #5 – Sex Is All About The Body
This is another of the big disability sex myths. Many people believe that limbs have the biggest impact on sexuality. One would think that sexual fantasies would toss out this myth, but they haven’t. Fact is that the brain is the most important sex organ. For example, if someone has mental blocks as it regards sex, they may not enjoy sex even if they have no physical disabilities. In a similar vein, a person who has a physical disability can enjoy sex even if they don’t have feeling in one or more parts of their body.
Overcoming disability sex myths is a great way to start learning more about yourself. It is also a great way to discover more aspects of a person. If you’re attracted to someone with a physical disability, living free of disability sex myths could give you the courage to approach the person.
As with any relationship, you won’t know what could happen if you don’t ask. That same disabled person could teach you new ways to explore yourself, both in and out of the bedroom. They could also introduce you to a rewarding relationship, not because they are disabled, but because you’re both beautiful, healthy people.
Let the IntimateRider Romance Set make your Valentine’s Day spectacular!
Experience complete comfort and discover new positions with your partner. When paired together, the IntimateRider and RiderMate will give you more options in your romantic endeavors. When it comes to intimacy, you shouldn’t have to over think it. Let our Romance Set be your solution this Valentine’s Day (and any other day of the week).
Please enjoy 15% off your IntimateRider Romance Set. Don’t wait! This offer will expire February 14th, 2017. Make sure to place your order by February 6th, 2017 to receive your items for the big day!
Spread the Love!
IntimateRider will be presented at the Spinal Cord Injury and Sexuality Conference. Location for the May 14 – 15, 2015 event is New York City’s Mount Sinai Medical Center. People who will benefit most from the two day conference include adults with spinal cord and related injuries, their spouses and partners and relatives. Occupational and physical therapists, clinicians, employers with employees who have physical disabilities and other professionals who work in the physical disabilities field will also benefit from attending.
The IntimateRider is being showcased at the conference because the IntimateRider is a revolutionary product that improves sexual mobility for adults with physical disabilities. Built with patented technology, The IntimateRider empowers people with a spinal cord injury (SCI) to positively counter a leading concern that adults with disabilities and their partners are challenged with, namely how and if they will be able to enjoy sexual intimacy following an accident, military injury or advancing birth defect.
Unlike other SCI products, the IntimateRider does not rely on motors or springs. Precision focused joint bearings, a solid steel frame and low center of gravity make it easy for the upper part of the body to improve overall sexual intimacy. Designed by the pioneering company of the same name, the IntimateRider stores away easily, not requiring assembly.
In addition to the IntimateRider, the May 14 – 15, 2015 Spinal Cord Injury and Sexuality Conference will feature other innovative products. Seminars, workshops, question and answer sessions and panel discussions will also be held. Topics of panel discussions, workshops and seminars include accessible tantra and mindfulness, sexual response cycle, sensate focus, sexual positions and medical aspects of SCI.
Networking sessions allow participants to meet and greet each other. There will also be opportunity for conference attendees to interact with speakers. Keynote speaker will be Dr. Michael Tepper. During Dr. Tepper’s keynote address myths about SCI and sexuality will be discussed.
Other scheduled presenters are Rebecca Torosian, an intimacy expert; Dr. Angela Riccobono, a Mount Sinai Medical Center senior psychologist; Lauren Varriale, an occupational therapist and Dr. Jennifer Gomez, a Mount Sinai Hospital SCI specialist. Conference sponsors include Independence Care System, Mount Sinai and the National Spinal Cord Injury Association’s Greater New York Chapter.
Focus areas of the conference highlight key points that the IntimateRider is designed to deal with. Chief among these areas are redefining orgasm, creativity and adaptations, friction and energetic models and healthy eroticism. People interested in attending the conference are encouraged to contact the Greater New York Chapter of the National Spinal Cord Injury Association. Registration is required to attend.
IntimateRider (https://www.intimaterider.com), is a division of Health Postures, a premier designer and manufacturer of health products, including workplace ergonomics and sexual positioning products for physically disabled men and women. IntimateRider products are designed to help adults with arthritis, multiple sclerosis, cerebral palsy, spinal cord injuries, joint replacements and other physical challenges to realize more fulfilling intimate relationships. The products have been on the market since 1996.