Expressing Sexuality While Disabled

Disability can be physical, mental and emotional. However, it’s the physical aspect of being disabled that many people think of when they hear or learn that someone is partially or completely immobilized. Intellectual disability is another form of disability that can affect the whole person, not just the body. Each disability form impacts not only the disabled person’s sexual life; it impacts the sexual experiences of the disabled person’s partner.

Get past mental blocks to start expressing sexuality while disabled

Let enough misperceptions crop up about sexuality and a disability and seemingly impenetrable communication walls could build between disabled people and their partners. Other challenges that can crop up are:


  • Attraction to a disabled person due to the belief that, solely because the person has a disability, she would never want to exit the relationship or desire someone else
  • Deliberate attempts to avoid disabled persons out of the belief that it’s impossible to enjoy a healthy emotional, psychological and sexual relationship with people who have disabilities
  • Guilt feelings or depression that are directly linked to surmising that the non-disabled partner is responsible for taking care of the disabled partner


Support with expressing sexuality while disabled

Sexuality education can help to remove communication blocks and misperceptions. To be truly effective, both partners in the relationship should pursue sexuality education that focuses on expressing sexuality while disabled. It may seem surprising, but, even disabled persons can develop misperceptions and erroneous beliefs about having sex. Other ways that disabled persons could gain more support while expressing sexuality include:


  • Enlarge their social circle
  • Communicate their physical, emotional or psychological challenges or limitations with their partner
  • Bring physically supportive sexual products like Intimate Rider sexual positioning equipment into the bedroom
  • Incorporate supportive sexual products that make it possible for people who are partially or fully immobilized to not only express themselves sexually but heighten the passion and erotic tension in their relationship by making it easier for people with disabilities to enjoy more sexual positions
  • Protecting themselves and their partners from sexually transmitted diseases
  • Understanding their sexuality rights and creating clear boundaries that encourage partners to respect those rights and boundaries
  • Allowing themselves time to really get to know people they are interested in deepening a relationship with. This single step can save people, disabled and non-disabled, regret and emotional pain. Open communication and trust offer feelings of safety. It’s when feeling safe that people can allow themselves to enjoy expressing sexuality while disabled.
  • Practicing awareness to get to know themselves better. By practicing awareness, disabled persons can develop an improved body or psychological image
  • Taking responsibility for expressing their sexuality in healthy ways, including incorporating reliable sexual products, including liberator seat cushions, support straps and romance sets into their lives

Stop Running From Sexual Intimacy If You Have A Disability


By Rhonda Campbell

There’s no reason to run from sexual intimacy. Sexual expression is a normal part of being human. At the heart of rewarding sexual expression are healthy relationships. It’s this point that many people miss, especially when they examine the state of their sexual intimacy.


Sexual intimacy can signal improving health and relationships

You might be surprised to learn that healthy sexual intimacy has more than a physical component. Social and emotional connections and psychological bonds play key roles in a person’s ability to enjoy sexual intimacy.


Just ask someone who feels betrayed by her partner of two years because her partner sounds more excited talking about the lunch he enjoyed with his new assistant than he does when discussing an upcoming date that he’s having with her, the woman he’s been dating for two years. People who have felt a romantic partner drifting away from them know that sexual intimacy is deeper than physical touch.


If you can connect emotionally with a person, you could develop healthy sexual intimacy with that individual. In fact, a lasting and rewarding sexual relationship demands that you make a deep emotional connection with your partner.


Trust is a bigger factor in sexual intimacy than disability

Focus on building a connection that will endure even as you and your partner age, experience passion shifts, work challenging jobs and continue to explore the world. As you do this, the trust that you have in yourself and your partner will grow.


It’s this trust that can reduce your fears about your sexual performance. When you know that your partner truly loves you, you may understand that one of the best payoffs of sexual intimacy is the fact that, during physical sex, you could take a step toward a deeper relationship with the person you love.


As you stop running from sexual intimacy if you have a disability, consider that you are more than a physical being. Be open with your partner about the impact that disability has on your everyday life and on your sexual expression.


You’re going to have to talk with your partner

Talk with your partner about specific fears that you and she or he has about sex as it regards your disability. For example, you or your partner might be afraid to have sex because you think that sex will create physical pain or worsen the disability.


Dr. Richard Senelick shares in The Huffington Post that a disability can cause a couple to fear changes in their gender roles. You or your partner could also fear that you’ll fail each other sexually. You might think that you will engage in the physical act of sex but never reach an orgasm.


Another factor to face and overcome so you can stop running from sexual intimacy if you have a disability is the belief that older people don’t have or enjoy sex. The fact is that, just as people with physical and mental disabilities enjoy healthy sex, so too do seniors.


Open up and talk with your partner about your fears and concerns. Ask your partner questions. If you’ve worked to build a healthy emotional and psychological connection with your partner, you both should feel safe talking about sex. Doing so may bring you both out of hiding. It could also open you both up to deeper and deeper love.




Live Free of Disability Sex Myths

Live Free of Disability Sex Myths

By Rhonda Campbell


You may not think of it this way, but sexual health is a key part of your overall health. This includes your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health. The American Health Sexual Association shares that sexual health is natural and about more sexual behavior.

Disability Sex Myth #1 – Disabled People Don’t Want To Have Sex

Sexuality and disability shares a similar conclusion, stating that sexuality is about more than just having sex. In fact, human express their sexuality in thoughts, fantasies, attitudes, perceptions and habits and practices. So, why do so many people wrestle with disability sex myths?

Why do so many people think that just because a person has a physical disability that they don’t desire to express themselves sexually? Of all the disability sex myths that may be the more common myth. That single disability sex myth can make it difficult for a person with a disability to be viewed as a healthy sex partner.

Disability Sex Myth #2 – Disabled People Need Lots of Help

Women with physical disabilities say that they are viewed with surprise when they become pregnant. When disabled women seek birth control or prenatal support, they may be treated as if they are a child instead of an adult. People may also go out of their way to offer the women unnecessary help.

They may rush to open a door, after a disabled woman has already shown that she can get in and out of doors on her own. Speaking more slowly and explaining documents down to smallest detail are other ways that people offer unnecessary help to disabled adults. The belief that disabled adults need lots of help can cause potential partners to think that being in a relationship with a disabled person would be too much work, both in and out of the bedroom.

Disability Sex Myth #3 – A Disabled Person Is Less Attractive or Highly Sexed

And it’s not just women who face these responses. Men with physical disabilities also deal with inaccurate perceptions, including disability sex myths. For example, some people view a disabled person as being less attractive. Other people think that people with physical disabilities are highly sexed and that they think about sex nearly all the time.

Disability Sex Myth #4 – Sex Education Isn’t Necessary

Because of disability sex myths, some educators and everyday people think that a disabled person doesn’t need sex education. This myth applies whether a person has a physical, mental or an emotional disability.

Disability Sex Myth #5 – Sex Is All About The Body

This is another of the big disability sex myths. Many people believe that limbs have the biggest impact on sexuality. One would think that sexual fantasies would toss out this myth, but they haven’t. Fact is that the brain is the most important sex organ. For example, if someone has mental blocks as it regards sex, they may not enjoy sex even if they have no physical disabilities. In a similar vein, a person who has a physical disability can enjoy sex even if they don’t have feeling in one or more parts of their body.

Overcoming disability sex myths is a great way to start learning more about yourself. It is also a great way to discover more aspects of a person. If you’re attracted to someone with a physical  disability, living free of disability sex myths could give you the courage to approach the person.

As with any relationship, you won’t know what could happen if you don’t ask. That same disabled person could teach you new ways to explore yourself, both in and out of the bedroom. They could also introduce you to a rewarding relationship, not because they are disabled, but because you’re both beautiful, healthy people.




IntimateRider was a game changer in our relationship

Sex After SCI: The Male Perspective

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