Let’s Talk About Sex

I have received several calls from women whose husband have a disability.  They came across the IntimateRider site, researched the product and decided that it is something they would like to try out.  One problem…..bringing it up to their husband.  They don’t want them to feel bad or have them think they were not happy with their sex life.

Just talking about sex for couples can be difficult, now you add in a disability issue and it may feel impossible.  But…communication is the key to a fulfilling sex life.

Every situation is different but here are a few tips to help you start working on your communication.
 
Clarify the Issues
·         Before sitting down and talking with your partner, make sure and clarify in your mind what the issues are. Some people find that writing down the issues is helpful.
 
Timing and Location
·     Pick a time when you both can focus on the two of you and the conversation at hand. It probably wouldn’t be a good idea to bring it up just before you are going to be intimate.
·     Location can make a difference. Chose some place that is quite without distractions. If you bring up sexual dis-satisfaction in bed it can create negativity in your bed.   
 
“I” Statements
Use statements such as “I feel that……” rather than “You make me feel like….”. People can tend to be hypersensitive about sex.  Sexuality is a very personal, and there ‘s a lot of pressure in the world to be sexually perfect, no matter how unrealistic that is. 
 
Suggestions
·     Make sure and ask your partner if they have any suggestions on how you two can make changes. 
·     If you want to bring up products that you feel will help your relationship, such as the IntimateRider, reinforce care for them by letting them know that you love and care for them and that you like being with them. Present the product as something that will enhance their own pleasure and give both of you more options when making love. Be aware of their personal sensitivities and insecurities and speak with kindness.
 
Expect the Best
If you go into a conversation anticipating that it will go poorly, it’s much more likely to. Instead, go into it with the expectation that what you have to say is productive and important, and your partner can absolutely handle talking about sex. If you are confident, your partner is going to hear your confidence and trust what you are saying and most likely communicate more.
 
Sex and communication is an ongoing process and it might feel awkward at first, but don’t feel that you need to get everything out at one time. Each of you needs to take time after your discussions to think about what has been said and how to make changes that will improve your relationship.

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