Stop Running From Sexual Intimacy If You Have A Disability

[caption id="attachment_1256" align="alignleft" width="300"] IntimatRider[/caption] By Rhonda Campbell

There's no reason to run from sexual intimacy. Sexual expression is a normal part of being human. At the heart of rewarding sexual expression are healthy relationships. It's this point that many people miss, especially when they examine the state of their sexual intimacy.  

Sexual intimacy can signal improving health and relationships

You might be surprised to learn that healthy sexual intimacy has more than a physical component. Social and emotional connections and psychological bonds play key roles in a person's ability to enjoy sexual intimacy.   Just ask someone who feels betrayed by her partner of two years because her partner sounds more excited talking about the lunch he enjoyed with his new assistant than he does when discussing an upcoming date that he's having with her, the woman he's been dating for two years. People who have felt a romantic partner drifting away from them know that sexual intimacy is deeper than physical touch. If you can connect emotionally with a person, you could develop healthy sexual intimacy with that individual. In fact, a lasting and rewarding sexual relationship demands that you make a deep emotional connection with your partner.  

Trust is a bigger factor in sexual intimacy than disability

Focus on building a connection that will endure even as you and your partner age, experience passion shifts, work challenging jobs and continue to explore the world. As you do this, the trust that you have in yourself and your partner will grow. It's this trust that can reduce your fears about your sexual performance. When you know that your partner truly loves you, you may understand that one of the best payoffs of sexual intimacy is the fact that, during physical sex, you could take a step toward a deeper relationship with the person you love.   As you stop running from sexual intimacy if you have a disability, consider that you are more than a physical being. Be open with your partner about the impact that disability has on your everyday life and on your sexual expression. 

You're going to have to talk with your partner

Talk with your partner about specific fears that you and she or he has about sex as it regards your disability. For example, you or your partner might be afraid to have sex because you think that sex will create physical pain or worsen the disability. Dr. Richard Senelick shares in The Huffington Post that a disability can cause a couple to fear changes in their gender roles. You or your partner could also fear that you'll fail each other sexually. You might think that you will engage in the physical act of sex but never reach an orgasm.

Another factor to face and overcome so you can stop running from sexual intimacy if you have a disability is the belief that older people don't have or enjoy sex. The fact is that, just as people with physical and mental disabilities enjoy healthy sex, so too do seniors. Open up and talk with your partner about your fears and concerns. Ask your partner questions. If you've worked to build a healthy emotional and psychological connection with your partner, you both should feel safe talking about sex. Doing so may bring you both out of hiding. It could also open you both up to deeper and deeper love.